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Green
07-06-2010, 06:57 AM
Back in March I went into the mental hospital and when I got released the commander gave me a paper to sign saying that I was restricted to the barracks, could not go off-post, and had to check in ever 2 hours at Staff Duty desk. The commander told me that it was not because I was in the mental hospitle that I am restricted but because of misconduct and a pending chapter. We got a new commander and so I stopped checking in. I have an apartment off post with my wife and she does not have a car or a license or a job. I need to be with my wife to support her. Her knee is messed up and she needs help doing certain things and I need to be off post to pay rent and get the groceries and other bills I need to pay as well. I have not checked in for at least 3 months now and I have never been told anything at all. But up until recently, the new commander said if I don't check in that he will call the MP's and send me to jail. Is there anything I can do because this does not seem right at all. I feel like he is trying to get me in trouble because I am just a "dirtbag". Why all the sudden after 3 months does he wait to tell me something? I really need to be with my wife off post.

MSG Glenn
07-06-2010, 07:41 AM
Don't go AWOL. If you think you're in trouble now getting caught off post will certainly seal the deal.

I have no idea why the 3 month wait. Maybe all of the facts just hit his desk or he had to take time to think it over or both. Try to set up an appointment with your new CO using the chain of command. Possibly he has a different philosophy on your problem or possibly he can at least get help for your wife.

Ask to see a Chaplain. It's possible there might be some agency that he knows about that'll help your wife.

What would your wife have done if you were deployed for a year? Or away on TDY to a school or other training? Maybe it would have been better for her to have stayed at home especially if she has family & friends there to support her.

CWO Sharkey
07-06-2010, 12:24 PM
this whole story has holes in it; that is why I didnt even respond.

papachop
07-06-2010, 12:38 PM
I'm with the Chief - I don't think we're getting the whole story here.

Nightflyer
07-06-2010, 01:00 PM
Green, don't jump the wire. You'll be making the biggest mistake in you're life. DEAL with it the best you can. Stand to and explain you're situation and you're family problems with Command.You need to talk to COC.

Nightflyer

MSG Glenn
07-06-2010, 02:24 PM
I'd really like to know what the misconduct charge is for. Hospital & misconduct???

Grunt Medic TXARNG
07-07-2010, 05:22 PM
How many times have we seen these stories posted, and then later realized what the real deal was when additional info came out? Like the guy on the radio said; "...and now for the rest of the story".

CWO Sharkey
07-09-2010, 05:23 AM
perhaps the OP had a "mental" relapse in his post lol

Anywho, a one-post wonder.

Green
07-09-2010, 05:41 PM
Maybe try not posting anything at all if your not going to help. Seems like your story has a bigger hole in it, so stop spaming my post. My wife has panic attacks ok! If she has one while im restricted to post what can I do? How will I know. If she has to go to the ER how will I take her? I guess the commander only cares about me risking getting in trouble again over someone risking their life.

MPclk2006
07-09-2010, 05:49 PM
Maybe try not posting anything at all if your not going to help. Seems like your story has a bigger hole in it, so stop spaming my post. My wife has panic attacks ok! If she has one while im restricted to post what can I do? How will I know. If she has to go to the ER how will I take her? I guess the commander only cares about me risking getting in trouble again over someone risking their life.

DO NOT tell people what to post or not post. Thats my job.

papachop
07-09-2010, 07:00 PM
Maybe try not posting anything at all if your not going to help. Seems like your story has a bigger hole in it, so stop spaming my post. My wife has panic attacks ok! If she has one while im restricted to post what can I do? How will I know. If she has to go to the ER how will I take her? I guess the commander only cares about me risking getting in trouble again over someone risking their life.

You can't be home for your wive 24/7/365 - you joined the Army, not homelessness. What if you're deployed? She can call a friend, or 911. We're happy to help.

You're kind of acting like a 12 year old here. How about taking a deep breath, and telling us the circumstances that led up to this?

Grunt Medic TXARNG
07-09-2010, 07:24 PM
Green - this wasn't an attack on you. Between Top, Chief and me we have something like 70 years' experience leading Soldiers, and we see a variation on your story over and over again - Soldier gets in big trouble and is pending punitive action, and comes on this forum stating how unfair his Command is being to him. When pressed for details, we find out his Command has actually been pretty lenient with him all along. Again, we've seen this over and over. But, here's your chance to prove us all wrong by sharing your story. I promise we'll give you a fair listen, and carefully considered advice. So, please help us by answering the following -

- Were you restricted to post as part of Article 15 proceedings? What was the charge? Was this the first time you had gotten in trouble?
- When you 'went into the mental hospital' back in march were you committed voluntarily or involuntarily? Did you have any drug or alcohol incidents? Were police ever called to your house on suspicion of domestic violence?
- What was the misconduct the Commander referred to when you were restricted to post? What is the reason for your pending chapter?

If you will answer these questions, we will do our very best to honestly advise you. In the meantime, I recommend the following (much of which Top said already)

- Use your Chain of Command to talk to your new Commander, advise him or her of your problems, and ask for help working them out
- Contact your Chaplain and do the same
- Have your wife contact your unit's Family Readiness Group leader and do the same
- Utilize a counselor at Army One Source at Army OneSource Home Page (http://www.myarmyonesource.com/default.aspx) or Military OneSource (http://www.militaryonesource.com/) to identify resources available to help you within your community.

Whatever happens, I wish you well. Numerous people here have been through a bad patch in their careers - I got busted from E-3 back to E-2 20 years ago, and I still managed to turn out OK. Good luck, young Soldier!

Nightflyer
07-09-2010, 10:20 PM
Maybe try not posting anything at all if your not going to help. Seems like your story has a bigger hole in it, so stop spaming my post. My wife has panic attacks ok! If she has one while im restricted to post what can I do? How will I know. If she has to go to the ER how will I take her? I guess the commander only cares about me risking getting in trouble again over someone risking their life.

Dude, you have the FRG and other support systems in place on post to keep you both going.. You're not alone.

Hit up ArmyGirl4ever and get squared away. Where's you're duty station?

Night

MSG Glenn
07-10-2010, 04:33 AM
I have a feeling that friend Green is a one-post wonder. He stated his woes, received advice & now is silent. I realize that it's only been 4 days since his original post but if he's that desperate for help you'd think that he'd be right on this like flies on crap. Hopefully he read what we all had to say without any further comments.

Don't be shy. Don't be ashamed. You shouldn't be too proud to be able to accept ideas. Let us know what happened & what's happening with your problem. Your wife has no need to suffer.

CWO Sharkey
07-10-2010, 07:15 AM
Since his wife wholly depends on him for everything, he should make a conscious effort of not getting in trouble. Shoot, that will be my motivation. But young soldiers will never put the onus on themselves. Its always the MAN lol.

Nightflyer
07-10-2010, 09:11 AM
Hey good afternoon boss,. I guess we did spook Green after all. You would think the Soldier might want to hang around for helpful advice. Oh, well. The man. lol. Oh, check out my sick academy awards on top of the fire place. lol. I even took a pic of my Deans List letter. LOL. hehe..

Have a good one Chief Q..

CWO Sharkey
07-10-2010, 10:44 AM
you too trooper. I am exhausted working on a master's course and its just one course that I am taking now. I hope to be done by 2012.

Nightflyer
07-10-2010, 11:54 AM
you too trooper. I am exhausted working on a master's course and its just one course that I am taking now. I hope to be done by 2012.

It takes alot of hard work being the best. That's why you are. Who know's better then you. Question for you boss. I'm on duty right now and the financial aid dept at school is closed. Here's the deal. I received a check from school for $1900.00 credit of over payment or something? I earned a grant at school this semester plus the Army Guard pays for everything else. I made the deans list this semester..Why would the financial aid dept send me a check for something that's already payed for??

This check is burning a hole in my pocket! lol. But, I don't want anything that isn't mine. Has that ever happened to you in you're college career?

Thanks,
Night

CWO Sharkey
07-10-2010, 11:57 AM
Just wait to monday and check with the registrar's office. I doubt they would have made an error. Too bad the banks are closed on the weekend. Or hit the 24/7 cash/check place lol.

Nightflyer
07-12-2010, 03:40 PM
Just wait to monday and check with the registrar's office. I doubt they would have made an error. Too bad the banks are closed on the weekend. Or hit the 24/7 cash/check place lol.

They said I had five K payed by the Army guard. The Gov't payed two K in grants. My class bill was 5100.00. They told me to keep the change. LOL. I'm going to wait till my fall Financial Aid Award Package comes in two weeks..They told me this semester it's over 10K in class fees because Im taking the max in classes. 5= 15 credits.

that's good. Once everything is in order and squared away in two weeks. Im cashing that check faster then a jack rabbit on a date. LOL. a Soldier can make a good livin' this way. ;) It's a shame I only have three semesters left.

irishangel
07-13-2010, 02:01 PM
Ummm.... I'm sorry- I know I'm new here, and I'm probably over-stepping my bounds, but I just can't hold it...
So Green, you've been restricted to barracks, can't leave post, you have to check in every 2 hours at the Staff Duty Desk, you get a new CO and you STOP checking in? Why? The reason for your restriction doesn't matter-you were under orders to check in at certain times. Ok- sooo... New CO doesn't know you from Adam- all he knows is that he has a soldier who is "supposed" to be checking in every 2 hours. He's not. He says that he will call the MP's and have you put in jail and you think he's just trying to get you in trouble? Seems to me that you pretty much met him half-way on that one! As for your wife- I'm sorry that she's in the situation she's in- have you no friends or family off-post who could help her while you are gone? Maybe you should round somebody up... FRG's and Care Teams are available for just such reasons... I'm thinkin' put on your big-girl panties, stop whining about your new CO who is trying to do his job ( and IF he DOES do his job and you DO go to jail, take your medicine), and find some off-post help for your wife.... Be glad you aren't MY son... I'd have ripped your ears off your head dragging you down to that Duty Desk!
To the Moderators: I do apologize for this post- if I am out of line in any way, please let me know and I will bow out gracefully!

MSG Glenn
07-13-2010, 03:48 PM
He's gone apparently. Another one post wonder.

StayFrosty
07-13-2010, 06:15 PM
He's gone apparently. Another one post wonder.

Or might have found out the hard way that when the CO says he's gonna call the MPs, he's actually gonna call the MPs...

papachop
07-13-2010, 08:39 PM
Ummm.... I'm sorry- I know I'm new here, and I'm probably over-stepping my bounds, but I just can't hold it...
So Green, you've been restricted to barracks, can't leave post, you have to check in every 2 hours at the Staff Duty Desk, you get a new CO and you STOP checking in? Why? The reason for your restriction doesn't matter-you were under orders to check in at certain times. Ok- sooo... New CO doesn't know you from Adam- all he knows is that he has a soldier who is "supposed" to be checking in every 2 hours. He's not. He says that he will call the MP's and have you put in jail and you think he's just trying to get you in trouble? Seems to me that you pretty much met him half-way on that one! As for your wife- I'm sorry that she's in the situation she's in- have you no friends or family off-post who could help her while you are gone? Maybe you should round somebody up... FRG's and Care Teams are available for just such reasons... I'm thinkin' put on your big-girl panties, stop whining about your new CO who is trying to do his job ( and IF he DOES do his job and you DO go to jail, take your medicine), and find some off-post help for your wife.... Be glad you aren't MY son... I'd have ripped your ears off your head dragging you down to that Duty Desk!
To the Moderators: I do apologize for this post- if I am out of line in any way, please let me know and I will bow out gracefully!

I have a new hero.

Chief
07-14-2010, 07:00 AM
I have a new hero.

Mee tooo

AWESOME Post. Keep em coming.

ArmyGirl4ever
07-17-2010, 05:23 AM
Dude, you have the FRG and other support systems in place on post to keep you both going.. You're not alone.

Hit up ArmyGirl4ever and get squared away. Where's you're duty station?

Night

Big fat negative...it is not the FRG's job to babysit co-dependent spouses. That may sound harsh but I'm just being real. A bad knee..really? There are families out there in worse situations, who get along just fine.

This Soldier screwed up and is trying to make excuses. Consequences have a way of coming back and biting you in the butt. Don't blame the Army because of your shortcomings, had he continued to do the right thing, this wouldn't even be an issue.

ArmyGirl4ever
07-17-2010, 05:26 AM
Ummm.... I'm sorry- I know I'm new here, and I'm probably over-stepping my bounds, but I just can't hold it...
So Green, you've been restricted to barracks, can't leave post, you have to check in every 2 hours at the Staff Duty Desk, you get a new CO and you STOP checking in? Why? The reason for your restriction doesn't matter-you were under orders to check in at certain times. Ok- sooo... New CO doesn't know you from Adam- all he knows is that he has a soldier who is "supposed" to be checking in every 2 hours. He's not. He says that he will call the MP's and have you put in jail and you think he's just trying to get you in trouble? Seems to me that you pretty much met him half-way on that one! As for your wife- I'm sorry that she's in the situation she's in- have you no friends or family off-post who could help her while you are gone? Maybe you should round somebody up... FRG's and Care Teams are available for just such reasons... I'm thinkin' put on your big-girl panties, stop whining about your new CO who is trying to do his job ( and IF he DOES do his job and you DO go to jail, take your medicine), and find some off-post help for your wife.... Be glad you aren't MY son... I'd have ripped your ears off your head dragging you down to that Duty Desk!
To the Moderators: I do apologize for this post- if I am out of line in any way, please let me know and I will bow out gracefully!

It is not the FRG or CARE Teams job to babysit. This Soldier should have squared his wife away. There are many resources out there for families and having adults babysit adults isn't one of them. There is a fine line. Like I said before..bad knee? Families are in worse situations. I'm an advocate for helping Families...but I'm also an advocate for self-reliant Families and resourcing not rescuing.

MPclk2006
07-17-2010, 06:15 AM
Big fat negative...it is not the FRG's job to babysit co-dependent spouses. That may sound harsh but I'm just being real. A bad knee..really? There are families out there in worse situations, who get along just fine.

This Soldier screwed up and is trying to make excuses. Consequences have a way of coming back and biting you in the butt. Don't blame the Army because of your shortcomings, had he continued to do the right thing, this wouldn't even be an issue.

You are right, what were we thinking, the FRG is there for spouses of Soldiers that want to kiss a$$ to go and hang out with the Commander's and 1SG's spouses and go shopping, gossip about other spouses and take credit the morale of the unit when in fact the morale is high b/c we dont hang out with anybody in the FRG...LOL...

In my opinion the FRG is USELESS! It is a good idea, but have rarely seen it actually work.

MPclk2006
07-17-2010, 06:19 AM
I understand the part of not babysitting, but really? You are saying this Soldier cant reach out to the FRG to at least guide her wife int he right direction to get the care she needs????? what if this Soldier doesnt know about those other "many resources" out there....shouldnt it be the FRG who he can ask to help his wife get in the right path to get herself help, maybe give her a ride to her appt to get the help she needs or whatever??

again FRG is probably too busy going to the mall with the CO's wife to actually do what they are actually there to do, help eachother.

ArmyGirl4ever
07-17-2010, 06:27 AM
While I don't necessarily agree, I do see your perspective but I have seen FRG's exactly as you have described. As I mentioned later, FRG's can resource but not rescue. FRG's can be an effective tool when utilized PROPERLY..key word properly but too often they are exactly as you have described.

Yes, they can reach out but the way the other poster mentioned made it sound like it would be the FRG's responsibility to take care of the wife. Or the CARE Teams and that is not what either institution is for, you have to be careful how things are worded. Because many people come here for advice and knowledge we want to ensure we are giving them the best information. Like I said..resource not rescue and help build self-reliant families. Self-reliance does not mean they can't reach out for help, but they also need to help themselves.

ArmyGirl4ever
07-17-2010, 06:28 AM
P.S. I have never been shopping with the CO's wife...I must have missed that memo when I volunteered with the FRG ;)

Nightflyer
07-17-2010, 07:08 AM
Big fat negative...it is not the FRG's job to babysit co-dependent spouses. That may sound harsh but I'm just being real. A bad knee..really? There are families out there in worse situations, who get along just fine.

This Soldier screwed up and is trying to make excuses. Consequences have a way of coming back and biting you in the butt. Don't blame the Army because of your shortcomings, had he continued to do the right thing, this wouldn't even be an issue.

I understand, yes if the Soldier screwed up he has to man up and deal. We we're just trying to help the Soldier out and point him in the right direction. I'd figure maybe he could find some type of support. Truth be told. I'd never had to lean on anyone, so I gave the Soldier the only thing I knew. I guess, the Soldier learned how to deal with it or he got busted because he never came back. lol.

MSG Glenn
07-17-2010, 07:13 AM
Personally I'd restrict him to quarters just for posting this.:D

I think LT Matt might be right - he's sittin' in the slammer . We've baited him enough to respond. Unlesss he's thin-skinned & can't take "counselling".

CWO Sharkey
07-17-2010, 07:18 AM
I love this FRG article..

FayObserver.com - <div>Bragg colonel's wife barred from 4th Brigade functions</div> (http://www.fayobserver.com/articles/2010/06/11/1003278?sac=Home)

papachop
07-17-2010, 08:01 AM
I love this FRG article..

FayObserver.com - <div>Bragg colonel's wife barred from 4th Brigade functions</div> (http://www.fayobserver.com/articles/2010/06/11/1003278?sac=Home)

Oh man. There's a good lesson in what not to do\let your wife do...

MSG Glenn
07-17-2010, 08:03 AM
Wow. Dr. Drinkwine appears to be a world class, gold plated, Grade A bitch using her husband's rank to throw her weight around. Always great for morale.

Nightflyer
07-17-2010, 09:06 AM
Dang! Dr. Drinkwine should have showed some class and just did her job. She "Fragged out" LOL.

matt
07-17-2010, 10:11 AM
Wow. Dr. Drinkwine appears to be a world class, gold plated, Grade A bitch using her husband's rank to throw her weight around. Always great for morale.

Definitely seems to be a little off her rocker.

ArmyGirl4ever
07-17-2010, 09:40 PM
I understand, yes if the Soldier screwed up he has to man up and deal. We we're just trying to help the Soldier out and point him in the right direction. I'd figure maybe he could find some type of support. Truth be told. I'd never had to lean on anyone, so I gave the Soldier the only thing I knew. I guess, the Soldier learned how to deal with it or he got busted because he never came back. lol.

I understand where those who mentioned FRG are coming from. A lot of people have a misconception about what FRG's are for. They are not babysitters, financial institutions, taxis, etc. The reason they aren't any of those things is because agencies are in place for those very things. I know I sounded harsh in my initial reply, blame that on limited time and crazy hotel internet.

This is what we would call a command issue because it involves UCMJ action. As volunteers, FRG members have to be careful how involved they want to be. Like I said share resources. Ultimately the FRG is an official Army program and is led by the Commander.

Nightflyer
07-18-2010, 05:24 AM
I understand where those who mentioned FRG are coming from. A lot of people have a misconception about what FRG's are for. They are not babysitters, financial institutions, taxis, etc. The reason they aren't any of those things is because agencies are in place for those very things. I know I sounded harsh in my initial reply, blame that on limited time and crazy hotel internet.

This is what we would call a command issue because it involves UCMJ action. As volunteers, FRG members have to be careful how involved they want to be. Like I said share resources. Ultimately the FRG is an official Army program and is led by the Commander.

Thank You and well Done, makes perfect sense to me. That's ok and it's cool. This Soldier has thick skin. That's why when Soldier's have some type of issues weather it be with family or Command, we simply point them in you're direction. LOL. Sorry about that. But you've always been so great at what you do for us and the troop. You're reply proves as much. You'e always been a classy Soldier and I always liked and appreciated you're style. The cool thing is there will ALWAYS be more Soldier's to test you're mettle and nerve so we simply will direct them you're way again. You gave the perfect answer the Soldier needed to hear. LOL. Hehe..

Good job Soldier. Momma knows best. LOL. :p

Chief
07-18-2010, 05:29 AM
. Momma knows best. LOL. :p

Its about to get bumpy LOL

Nightflyer
07-18-2010, 05:47 AM
Its about to get bumpy LOL

Roger that Chief, all in fun but truth be told. She's cool and I like her alot. Im out in the shop if anyones looking for me. ;) Two Four out. LOL.